The attraction of destructive thoughts

And then there was pitch black darkness,

The only lights breaking the thick fog were tiny pink dots far in the distance marking the end of a long fishing rod bending down by the force of the wind, additionally some pink dots were circling above marking a strange flat shaped plane that seemed to circle the area.

Somehow the contrasting strong power-fullness of this dark sea made me painfully aware of my own powerlessness. The strong pitch black sea having the same color as the clouds seemed to start all the way up there, rolling onto the gray sandy beach like a storm. Looking down closer at the sea  I can see how she strongly pulls back parts of the beach first left than right as a strong mother using her paws to pull back her playing kittens one after the other. Watching these movements I can feel the strong undercurrent pulling me back, its destructiveness showing some kind of strange power of attraction. As soon as she pulls back you want to take a step closer..

Questions start to enter my mind:

“Why do these destructive powers feel so attractive? and how do these powers stay so strong in pulling us back even after we learned the hard way?”

“Is it that we feel the need to measure-up all the time, measure our strength now and a then, needing to feel we can still handle it, handle it better or handle it at all? Or could it be that we miss it in some kind of masochistic way?”

Then all the melancholy is melted by the Thermos, turning the powder in warm wonderful welcoming wienermelange.. enough measuring of our strenght for one day,



Time to go home and love 😀 !!